Life Skills
Via blog, my goal has been and still is to share an awareness of everyday life with an adult child with Autism. It is never time to stop teaching. Learning life skills should always be ongoing. Although it may seem like certain skills will never be mastered, don’t give up. My Jess, at age 29, is still making progress.
Pretty soon, there is going to be a population explosion of adult children with autism. 
Maybe something I write about will provide insight that could help others interact with autistic people in the future. Maybe some people will understand better why I am weird, or why I put myself in a shell for so long. Hopefully, I will sometimes entertain a little with funny Jess tales, and just maybe some stories I share will help other families in ways that I will never know.
To understand the big picture in present time, I have felt it is extremely important to describe the road we traveled to get where we are now.
Jessica went to middle school in 1999. Remember 
what other big event was in 1999? All the dreaded Y2K hype? Do you remember where you were December 31, 1999, wondering what tomorrow would bring? I remember vividly because that very day, I felt as if life as I knew it had ended forever. I was to be forever handcuffed to a new responsibility that, quite honestly, no one would want. Overwhelmed, I did not see how in the world I would ever be able to lead a normal life again.
On December 31, 1999, Jessica started her period.
Whhaaat?!!! Am I really going to talk about this? Yes, I am.
It was like something came down and sucked my insides out. I was nearly catatonic for a couple of days. Did it end up being that bad? In the long run – No.
Inconvenient? Yes. Unpleasant? Yes. The end of my world? Of course not. Just like Y2K, it was not really that big of a deal. Or, at least not that I remember now.
For many years, I (along with Grandmothers and Parapros, bless their hearts) managed that scene for Jess. It was, in fact, one of many obstacles to Jessica gaining independence. Imagine trying to manage the hygiene issues while being blind, not to mention also having fine-motor skill issues and autism.
That responsibility was not mine forever, though. With lots of time, practice, patience and trial and error, managing her period became primarily Jessica’s responsibility. Much to my surprise, she developed an amazing level of independence with that personal life skill.
‘Period Stuff’ Sounds a Whole Lot Better
Ok guys (and some gals,) if you are brave enough to still be reading, maybe the following is not TMI. When Jess heard that it was blood, she freaked. So, for many a year, we referred to it as “period stuff.” (Just typing that makes me laugh out loud. How funny!) I can still hear the call from afar, “Mama, I got period stuff on my panties.”
Ahh, the warm and fuzzy memories… Oh, wait, that might have just been a few weeks ago when we were at Disney.
Yes, at Disney; and, thankfully it did not ruin our trip. As a matter of fact it had almost no impact at all. It has not been that long ago that I would have been sure the effort of a Disney trip would not be worth it while Jess was on her period.
We’ve come a long way, baby.
It just goes to show that it most certainly was not the end of the world in 1999. Life moved on and we adjusted with it. The pubescent transition was just that – another transition. We made it through just fine, and it may be the learned life skill that I’m most thankful for.
Life skills, always taught, ever emerging in importance!
NEXT: Wandering Jess
I’m a 69 year old woman and I still did not feel this blog was TMI! The parent of a blind child, even without the autism, would appreciate this. I graduated with your mother and Aunt Faye and am so glad Kaye told me about your blogs. She, Faye and I aren’t in contact often but I knew about Jessica’s blindness. I didn’t know about the autism, though.
Thanks Carol. I agree about the info being beneficial for families of blind children. When I was running the content of the post by Hannah, we discussed that very thing as well. I am really glad you are following the blog. Thank You!!
You are so brave! And unbelievably helpful. I can imagine that countless mothers of autistic girls will face this situation now with much less apprehension than just before reading the blog. And those already dealing with it will be thankful to know they aren’t alone. Great job!
Thanks for the feedback Aunt Faye! I giggled a lot while writing the post, amusing myself quite a bit I guess while imagining what others may think of the directness of the content.
Great post, Val. I love your honesty and openness about subjects that are a little uncomfortable. I’m sure it’s much appreciated by others experiencing similar difficulties. Sometimes just knowing someone else is having the same struggle is really comforting. I cracked up about the “period stuff.” When Rob was little I wouldn’t let him say booger so he called it Nose Stuff. 🙂
Thanks for the encouragement Becca! I probably have never really been one to avoid uncomfortable subjects, but posting such on this kind of media is most definitely new to me 🙂 But, yesterday, I just realized that was a huge event in my life as well as hers. It is a complicating factor in many things including vacations at the beach, summertime plans, and spending the night with friends and family. I never wanted it to be something that kept her from getting to follow through with plans she had made. As a matter of fact, there were a few times I let her go spend the night with people who probably had to really step out of their comfort zone to help her while she was there.
I remember now about the ‘nose stuff’ so maybe that’s where I came up with period stuff. Pretty amazing what a difference terminology can make.